I have anxiety today: rapid heart rate, slight clenching in the jaw, sudden waves of crying, and loss of appetite. My therapist said I experience emotional flooding: when I experience too many emotions, my body will shut down to reduce feeling overwhelmed. Later on, when I feel safe, any little thing could set me off and open the flood gates. It kinda sounds like shock and PTSD.
I didn’t understand what anxiety was when I was younger. I thought we all experienced stress when speaking in public or before taking a test. I experienced my first panic attack around the age of 25 at Florida International University. I was taking a class in software development and the class had a lab. The stupid aide pulled one of those “if no one has any questions, I’ll select a random student to solve the problem.” That made me panic, nothing new though, I’ve experienced random selection in class before, but for some reason, this time was different. The class was a lot smaller, my chances of being selected increased exponentially. I started feeling nervous, but I didn’t get picked. As soon as class was over, I ran out of there!! Once I got to my car, that’s when it hit me, I started crying hysterically.
I’m trying to implement an afternoon and night time routine
Stacy Ever After 